Tell Me What A Friend Is

when I'm hurting I dnt think of you
when I'm happy I dnt care to share
i dnt mind not hearing from you
I'm not sure y i tolerate you...smh tolerate...

I'm sure you're confused y I feel this way though, right?
you may have erased the truth from your recollection, but I never did 
you question y u never hear from me
& as you say, you feel you're losing me

truth is, you're Not losing me
I've been gone 
the day you decided that lust, lies & secrets were more important I dropped out the race 
still unsure what I'm talking about?
I'd say ask your other friend but he has a problem remembering stuff from
five minutes ago as I'm sure he's also forgotten of this thing

BUT I remember the night like it was yesterday
anger wasn't the first emotion, neither was sadness 
if I recall I was struck with silence and shock overcame me
a feeling of detachment became my Only connection to u and has remained there since

YET you're still hanging around 
mostly my fault though cause I haven't just come out and said it
but you'd think you'd have gotten it with all the hints I've given

I'm considered the mean one but if anyone cared to find out what lurked in the mind & heart of a hurt soul, guess who you'd find? 
Me. 

it's cool though 
Jesus knew Judas would give him up and Peter would deny him
I'm sure He also knew which would kill himself over the stint & who'd ask for redemption
seeing how you never asked for the latter, I'll allow you to hang yourself in your own guilt 

My loyalty.
Your betrayal. 
Tell me what, no, tell me who, is a friend.